Show Don’t Tell #12

Show Don’t Tell! That means I’m going to provide a bad writing example and show you how to fix it! (Otherwise known as: an absurd amount of notes on an absurdly short paragraph.) This time, we’re going to be paying special attention to adverbs, verbs, and tone. THE BEFORE PARAGRAPH Briskly,(1) I ran through the […]

Show Don’t Tell #11

Show Don’t Tell! That means I’m going to provide a bad writing example and show you how to fix it! THE BEFORE PARAGRAPH Akira stood motionless at the base of the sixteenth tower.(1)  It was(2) an immaculate structure(3) with reflective metallic siding.  There was(4) no possible way to scale it due to this very reason.(5) […]

Show Don’t Tell #10

Show Don’t Tell! That means I’m going to provide a bad writing example and show you how to fix it! THE BEFORE PARAGRAPH A door swings open by aid of a gentle hand revealing dank, desolate hallway.(1)  It appeared(2, 3) not to have seen the light of day in at least a century.(4) The rhythmic […]

Show Don’t Tell #9

Show, don’t tell! Let’s dig through some examples to learn by experience. This time, I’m editing what is essentially the pitch for a story. A pitch is a small paragraph (sometimes just a sentence or two) that convinces someone they want to ready your story. We’ll also chat about sentence fluency, which is the variation […]

Show Don’t Tell #8

Show, don’t tell! Instead of just giving writing advice, let’s dig through some examples to learn by experience! BEFORE He didn’t want to go to the south coast, because it was often overrun by deserting sailors who would wield short swords. (1) He couldn’t go north to the mountains whose peaks were covered with deadly snow. (2) […]

Show Don’t Tell #7

Show, don’t tell! Instead of just giving writing advice, let’s dig through some examples to learn by experience! BEFORE At seeing the small child raise her hand, she felt (1) her heart tighten with powerful emotions. (2) “What is it?” she leaned forward,(3) wanting to ask but not actually speaking. (4) The girl faltered and […]

Cut Word Count Without Cutting Your Story (Pitch Wars Revision #4 & Show Don’t Tell #6)

Things I Struggle With and How I’m Fixing Them (I’m outlining my revisions process during the September and October of Pitch Wars (which is what again?). It’s not just me! Other mentees are blogging, too.) * Word Count is TOOOOO long. The easiest way to cut word count is to cut scenes. Do we really need […]

Show Don’t Tell (#5)

The best way to learn is by example! You’ve all heard: “Show, don’t tell”, right? This example illustrates the difference between showing and telling (plus helpful editing/writing tips). BEFORE I wasn’t sure what to do next,(1) everything in my life was telling me to move forward, to go off to college and learn amazing things, to […]

Show Don’t Tell #4

The best way to learn is by example! You’ve all heard: “Show, don’t tell”, right? This example illustrates the difference between showing and telling (plus helpful editing tips). The Before paragraph is telling us. The After paragraph is showing. BEFORE Anna gazed at the car (1) they had dutifully restored and repaired. Anna and Anne (2) had loved renovating and […]

Show Don’t Tell #3

“Show, don’t tell”, right? Here’s an example that illustrate the difference between showing and telling. The Before paragraph is telling us. The After paragraph is showing. BEFORE “There’s a lot I haven’t told you,” he said nervously. (1) “Tell me,” she said, stepping backward away from him. (2) “I have secrets,” he looked into her eyes, trying to […]