So what happens when you’ve been working crazily on a manuscript for nearly two months straight with a consistent low level coffee buzz surging through your veins?
Weird things. VERY WEIRD THINGS.
1. You start narrating your life, adding dialogue tags after people talk.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much… she said, completely ignoring his new haircut.”
“You noticed my haircut? It’s nice, right?”
“Didn’t you hear the dialogue tag? I’m ignoring you. she said with a fiercely expressionless face.”
“But you’re smiling.”
“NO I’M NOT. OBEY THE DIALOGUE TAGS, she whispered.”
2. Your sister wakes you up to say goodnight (because you crashed at 8pm on a Saturday like a BOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY).
Sister hugs me whilst I am on the dangly edge of dreamy-land.
“Night,” she says.
I vaguely return the hug and say, “Go and build a hut in the frigid waters of the north.”
Sister says nothing. Shrugs. Goes to sleep.
Not by the frigid waters of the north. IN the frigid waters of the north. Confusion? Yes.
3. You’re brain doesn’t function at optimum capacity. But it’s on high alert at the same time. Sort of?
*hears strange sound from car*
*gets off at nearest exit*
*intends on pulling into a gas station, but there are no gas stations*
*continues driving, thinking yeah, i’ll just drive parallel to the freeway at a slower speed*
*drives for five miles down strange farm-road*
*glances out the window*
*sees Venus, Saturn, and Mars*
*realizes that Venus, Saturn, and Mars are in the Eastern sky*
CRAP I’M GOING SOUTH. CRAAAAP.
*turns on GPS which tells me to continue for 8 miles before finding a turn-around*
CRAPITY CRAP CRAP
*clock displays I should be at work right now*
CRAAP CRAAP CRAAAAAAAAAAAP.
*glares at street, heading north for 15 miles until I get back on the freeway a half hour later and only TEN MILES CLOSER TO WORK THAN WHEN I STARTED*
*walks into work 25 minutes late*
I need coffee, guys. Cofffeeeee.